


A Phone Booth I Somehow Stumbled Into (The Neil Remix)

by s0ymilk



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dramatic Neil, M/M, Waxing philosophic about candy wrappers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-24 21:23:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14962413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/s0ymilk/pseuds/s0ymilk
Summary: Neil needed a reason to stay.But that was too much to ask of any person. Even Andrew.





	A Phone Booth I Somehow Stumbled Into (The Neil Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fuzzballsheltiepants](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzballsheltiepants/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Phone Booth I Somehow Stumbled Into](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14240868) by [fuzzballsheltiepants](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzballsheltiepants/pseuds/fuzzballsheltiepants). 



> I'm so excited to finally get this out onto AO3 and to Fuzzballsheltiepants, who writes beautiful Andreil fics that seemed to multiply every time I checked their AO3! I had a lot of fun emulating the style and format of the fic, as well as writing from Neil's perspective, so thank you so much for letting me remix it!

It started with an itch in his legs. An itch that traveled up through his body, sank into his chest, and burrowed through veins and synapses all the way to the tips of his fingers. He needed a cigarette. He needed a bus. He needed a new name, a new passport, a new city. 

It started when each ‘no’ became too much to handle, and Neil pushed, because he  _ needed  _ a touch, a kiss, a caress, to calm his itchy skin. To remind him why he stayed. 

It started when he said three words and hoped that meant Andrew would keep him from running. 

It ended with a key. 

Neil pushed, and Andrew said no, and then Andrew was gone. Out the front door, without so much as a wave. It was all Andrew had ever been, and Neil knew that it wasn’t fair to expect for more, but that didn’t stop the silence from burrowing into his head. He looked around the silent house, the bare walls, the empty kitchen. 

_ Run.  _

He needed the rumble of an engine to drown out the voices in his head. 

_ Run.  _

He needed something more than a key that opened up an empty house.

_ Run.  _

He needed something to stay for. 

He left the key, and he left a note, and he ran. 

****

It was two a.m., and Neil was ten hours away, at a 24 hour truck stop. 

He’d always thought this would be his entire life. Blinding lights, a lonely stretch of highway, bland protein bars and water and truckers in loud t-shirts. Before Andrew, Neil had never craved a home, nor even understood what it might mean to have one. Or maybe he just knew that a home was something he’d never have, and so he settled for the next best thing. The smell of cigarettes and hot tar off the asphalt, and a sunrise in a rearview mirror. 

The cashier sold him the cigarettes without so much as a glance in his direction. Something about that calmed the itchy feeling blanketing his skin, though it didn’t settle him quite the way it used to, before. Neil took the cigarettes outside, leaned against the side of the building, and shook one out. 

He was invisible here. Just another transient, going to or coming from, stopping to rest his tired eyes and uncurl his aching body for a while. He could feel the way the eyes passed over him. Neil reached one hand up, the one without a cigarette, to tug thoughtfully at a strand of hair. The red was too noticeable. He needed hair dye. Contacts. Could he do something about the scars? Neil touched them too, and then there was a searing flash of pain through his fingers. The cigarette, burnt to the filter. Cursing quietly, he dropped it. 

He tried to light another one, but his lighter clicked and sputtered out. Out of lighter fluid. He and Andrew had quit together, a year ago, so the lighter was dug up from the crevices of the middle console. Grimacing, Neil tossed it into the trash and headed back into the convenience store. 

Halfway to the back of the store for a bottle of water, Neil paused absentmindedly and looked to the side. A riot of colourful packages in various blocky shapes jumped out at him, each demanding his attention more than the last. Chocolate in all different forms, peppermints, gummies shaped like worms, caramel chews, jelly beans. Neil didn’t like sweets, had never liked them, but where before they were a foreign concept, now they brought a pang of something into his chest. He could feel the ghost of Andrew at his side, sorting through the packages and balancing as many as he could carry into one hand. Here were the Starburst Andrew bought when he was staving off a cigarette craving. Twix, he used to stir his already overly-sweet coffee. Peanut MM’s for when he was missing Aaron (Aaron hated peanut MM’s. Typical Andrew.). Hard Lifesavers for endless trips on the Foxes’ travel bus, or during flights. 

Neil examined the packages for a moment longer. How many of them had he bought for Andrew over the years? The cashier at the store on the corner had thought Neil was a sugar demon, until he’d finally connected Neil and Andrew together and realized where the candy was really going. The stocking girl at Ralph’s used to tease him about showing up like clockwork for the after-holiday candy sales. Neil reached one hand out towards the candy display - then jerked it back, and turned resolutely towards the fridge full of water bottles. 

Sitting in the car, driving back towards the distant city lights, Neil imagined himself showing up at Andrew’s door with a handful of candy bars and an apology. 

_ It’s just overwhelming sometimes, Drew.  _

When he finally hit town again, he turned left, and drove right back out again. 

\--

Another truck stop, another aisle. Neil held a dark-chocolate Snickers and thought of a long weekend in the desert. It had melted in its package on the dashboard, which didn’t stop Andrew from eating it, then licking the melted chocolate off the wrapper. Neil had always liked that memory.

The next night, a bag of jelly beans. Andrew hated the black licorice ones. Neil didn’t like them either, but he always ate a few, just to annoy Andrew. 

And the night after that. Reeses, which Andrew bought when he was having a bad day. He would put them in the freezer with shaking hands, then sit at the kitchen counter and watch the minutes go by silently, each quiet tick reflected in his eyes. If Andrew could just last until the Reeses froze, things would get better. 

In a flash, Neil was suddenly back in the car, two packages of Reeses in the passenger seat, headlights pointed back towards the city. 

The memories came at him one after another,  _ bam bam bam,  _ like bullets drilling into his body and his brain. Eyes on the side of his face. The smell of a cigarette brand his mom never smoked. A face relaxed in sleep in a dark room. The taste of cocoa and morning breath as Andrew kissed him in their kitchen. 

So many memories, bright and abundant like candy wrappers. Andrew was in everything he saw. His ghost was in every place he went. Neil could run far and fast, but he couldn’t outrun the memories. 

Neil had thought that if it was right, if  _ they  _ were right, then he’d never need to run again. But he didn’t stop being a runner just because of Andrew. Neil didn’t need something to stay for, because it wasn’t in his nature to stay. 

Andrew knew that. 

Which is why, instead, he gave Neil a reason to come back.  

\--

He went to Nicky’s vacation house, the one he used when he and Eric were in town. In the kitchen, he carefully set his things on the counter, then took the two packages of Reeses from the plastic bag and put them in the freezer. 

Neil would wait for them to freeze, and then he’d put them in the car and drive back home. And if Andrew was still waiting for him, then things would be okay. 

If he hadn’t already broken. If Neil hadn’t already asked too much. 

It was three AM when a car, familiar even in the pure dark outside, pulled up in the front yard and startled Neil out of a half-asleep stupor. Neil watched Andrew open the driver’s side door, start up the driveway, then pause. And wait. And wait. 

Neil was outside before he knew it. 

Andrew, wan and shaking in the moonlight, followed him inside. He sat at the kitchen and grudgingly drank some of Neil’s cinnamon apple tea, and then he let Neil dress him in sweats and a t-shirt and push him under the covers. 

The words stuck in Neil’s throat as he lay down on his side, eyes on Andrew’s pale face.  _ I can’t stop running. But I was coming back. I just had to wait a little longer. I’m sorry you had to chase me.  _

_ I don’t need a home, Andrew. I just need you. Let me come back to you.  _

When it came, the  _ I love you  _ sounded just like  _ Welcome home.  _ And they slept, and when Neil woke, it was to a chocolate-sweet kiss and a bright orange wrapper on the kitchen counter. Neil folded it carefully and stuck it in his wallet, a piece of home to carry with him wherever he went. 

And with that, peace. 


End file.
